i can’t believe that i’m still in Sandakan. i wish we would go back to KK already. huhuhuhu…i miss KK.
They say that a measure of one’s true character would be what he would do if he would never be found out.
Just think about it.
APPLICATION FORM FOR DATING MY OWNER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME _____________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ____________
HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT _________ IQ __________ GPA _________
SOCIAL SECURITY #______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #____________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_____________________________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________________________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___NoIs one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _______________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married _________________________________
If less than your age, explain:
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with over-sized tires? __Yes __No
C. A water-bed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does ‘LATE’ mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY OWNER’ mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? ____________
mother? ___________
pastor? ____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
____________________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
____________________________________________________________________
C: A woman’s place is in the:
____________________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
____________________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?
____________________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
____________________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
__________________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature
_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/ Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six months for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back)
(more…)
yesterday, i stayed back at the office with Koyuki. he’s a Japanese sheep.
me: i got myself a blog.
Koyuki: oh yeah? is it a pet?
me: noooo. it’s an online journal thingy. you really are so provincial, sometimes.
Koyuki: i’m a sheep. what do i know about that? i’m trying to lose weight. that’s all i keep thinking about ever since Cheska told me i was fat.
me: good luck with that. maybe you should join her when she practices at night. i watched them do their routines, it makes them sweat like nobody’s business. it also made me glad that the women love my curves as it is.
Koyuki: i just might do that tomorrow.
so today, i mean, later, i’ll be bringing Koyuki with me to the studio and hopefully, he can join Cheska during her dance practice.
i also joined the bear club thingy. i’m extremely happy that i’m gaining friends online.
i now just have to keep reminding Cheska to make me clothes. it has been raining a lot lately. oh my, her bday is coming up soon. i wonder what i should get her?
by the way, Trish. i’m a boy. and i know you’re a doll. Cheska told me lots about you. *wink wink*